secret desires #2 : orchestra player

it's been a while since my latest post,
and now I wanna announce that :

I love orchestra!

you won't believe how much I want to be a violinist, conductor, or cellist if only I were free to choose my options :)
well, being one of players in the orchestra need a sync between your own ego, emotion, behavior, talents, and performance.
I have just watched the pro-orchestras from TV, online streaming, and video.
the rest just orchestra from my school. But, I'm really impressed with what have they done with the symphonies and music.

For I know that there is no way I could be one of them, then I changed my mind to be a businesswoman, so I could make lotsa orchestra one day.
If I can't be what I want, then I should just pay people to do that! lols
It was one of my mom's advices to me.

Well, I once asked my mom : "Mom, would you ever mind if I wanna be a violinist?"
I thought she would support me like others did, but this was her answer :
"You know what, I raised you to be a multimillionaire businesswoman. Once you have all the money in the world, you could make tons of orchestras don't you ever think of that?!"

And that's how she always changed my mind from being what I desired of :)
So, move on!
If you know that you won't be something. Then be anything else that could buy people to fulfill your desires! lolss!

Bittersweet Symphony

Cause it's a bittersweet symphony this life ..
Trying to make ends meet, you're a slave to the money then you die
I'll
take you down to the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that
takes you to places where all the veins meet

No change, I can change, I
can change, I can change,Where all the veins meet yeah,But I’m here in my mould
, I am here in my mould.But I’m a million different people from one day to the
next...

Well I've never prayed,
But tonight I'm on my knees, yeah.
I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah.
I let
the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now.
But the airwaves
are clean and there's nobody singing to me now

.

Those are lyrics from song bittersweet symphony which is performed by the verve in late 1990s. And it became the soundtrack for the cruel intentions movies. It was a hit back then, and such a marvelous work I think :)

I love the song so much, especially for the instrument. The orchestra really did their job with wonderful.

Life indeed is sometimes tastes so bitter, and in the other time so sweet.
But mostly, we just come to think bout life when it's the bitter one.
However, many of the sweet times come along with bitter part in it.

Music things are one I always considered and love so much.
I'm not always like things I could do only, but also things I can't do.
Like playing music isn't my skill but my delightful one.
While playing instrument is something forbidden by my mother (we've got migran),
sing is one I could do :)
I sing whenever I sad, tired, boring, joyful, grateful, fallin in love with somebody, or just whenever I like. In a right time of course.

Well, it's like what I've been in these days : UNDER PRESSURE, I keep to sing and it helps me to not gettin crazy. Music has been my favourite cure since I don't even remember when.
I like to hear classic, soul, rock, pop, jazz, or just anything that's good in ryhtm and flowing harmony. It's a bitter thing too to know that I'm the one who broke my own voice.
I didn't really understand too how much I need my voice till it didn't work as usual anymore and I got so confused cause when I sing to throw away my problems, I get another problem when I hate my own voice.
It happens about months ago and now my voice is in a sensitive-case. Hitherto I'm trying for not eat anything that has a risk to harm my voice :)

Yeah, those are what make this life has the bitter and the sweet taste.
Even though it's a sad thing when a happiness comes along with problems.
I don't really understand with what I'm writing about too, maybe it's just a way of mine to throw away problems from my mind. Not a very sane idea too, for it's wasting my time, but it's a way better than to be drunk with sadness :)